Happy birthday to me... How old am I now?? Sigh... Thanks to all for those who remembered and to those who didn't, well....

I finally settled my court case... I'm so relieved to get that out of the way.

Faris has finally left again but this time for national service. Its always sad to see someone you know go. Good luck to him. I'm sure he'll find the experience very useful. And in the end that leaves only me. Just me. All by myself. Last man standing... Again. Yeah, its all coming back to me... I have to start over again...

Jobs are so hard to get nowadays... They need somebody who is "suitable" or "right" for the job. Whats that suppose to mean? All I need is a chance to show what I can do but now I'm not even going to get that chance. Anybody willing to take a chance on me?

People who use me to get what they want should just DIE. People who also suck up to their superiors should also DIE. You know you are one of them...

Somebody has to teach me the art of moving on. I just can't do it no matter how hard I try... The girl is not even in my life anymore but I still can't forget her. Every song playing on the radio reminds me of her. I just.... can't stop thinking about you...

Today's prayer goes a little something like this,"God, if I can't be happy, that's OK. I probably deserve it. But please make those whom I care about happy."

You were my closest friend the one I could tell everything to and you would never laugh. Then it happend the connection that changed everything I fell too fast for you and you had no idea. I thought you liked me that way too. The way you used to look at me made me feel so wonderful, you have no idea what it felt like for me. You just thought it was a cute crush. Oh you were so wrong. I fell in love with you so badly it hurt me so much when you pushed me away. It hurt me to see you hurt. I'm sorry I love you. Please forgive me.

It still hurts. It all still hurts: The thought of you. I thought I was getting better; getting better about forgetting the face I haven’t seen for so long. Getting better at forgetting the way your voice always made me smile, and made my complex life seem so much simpler. About forgetting the eyes that made me melt within your presence and even through your pictures. I thought I was getting better; I was wrong.

One day you'll look back, and realize how you treated me. And Maybe, just maybe... You would do something silly like call me up, and tell me you're sorry. And you know what? I'd forgive you, again. Why? Because you're the person who used to be my best friend. I love you for that. And I'd willingly risk my well being to have a chance at having that person back in my life. Even though it seems that person not around anymore and I really don't know where she went. :'(