Here we go again....

How I wish I could turn back time... Back when she asked me how I felt about her... I regret not telling her the truth... Instead, I blatantly lied about it. I seriously don't remember why I did that. And because of that, I'll never know.

There was a time when I thought I would be over her. No talking, no contact at all. She wasn't on my mind at all. But then she posted a picture of herself on facebook. It made me start to miss her. So, I blocked her on facebook. That helped for a couple of months but in the end one thing was clear to me.

A part of me still wants to remember you, worries about you.

I need closure to move on but how do I get that when there was never you & me to begin with?

Battle Scars

The wound heals but it never does
That’s cause you’re at war with love
You're at war with love, yeah

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle

Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruin's wooing me
Arrow holes that never close from cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me
But when you're trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up and you know that you should know
And let her go but the fear of the unknown
Holding another lover strong sends you back into the zone
With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter on the frontline with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle
Maybe sharpen up a song
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone

I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
Cause I’m the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it’ll never be over, until you tell me it's over

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle

(And just leave then)
You shouldn't have but you said it
(And I hope you never come back)
It shouldn't have happened but you let it
Now you're down on the ground screaming medic
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses
Shields, body armors and vests
Don't properly work, that's why you're in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine is to probably just let her win

I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I’m the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it’ll never be over, until you tell me it's over

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle

I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much
And I’m the only one that's trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her
I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
Cause it’ll never be over, until you tell me it's over

Cause you've set me on fire
I’ve never felt so alive, yeah

Hoping wounds heal, but it never does
That's because you're at war with love

And I’m at the point of breaking
And it’s impossible to shake it

See, you hoped the wound heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love
Hope it heals, but it never does
That's cause you're at war with love!

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle


These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain't never gonna change
These battle

I think its almost been a year now since I've worked at Sportslink... It ain't ideal but it does provide a stable income for me. I've met all types of people, some interesting, while others just downright annoying. I'm not complaining though... I have a lot of memories that I won't forget since I've been here. Good or bad, it sure has been an interesting ride...

Met somebody new today. I feel this could be something special. But there's just one problem... I keep seeing your face every time I talk to her... She reminded me of you. This not going to work out.... 

Moving on? Sure, I'll give it a try...

This month has been very strange to say the least. Girls whom I used to know started to reappear into my life again. It was so awkward to see and talk to them again. Well, at least they still remembered me.While it was great to see both of them again, there is only one girl who I truly want to see really badly. I really have a hard time of letting go. Why her? I really can't answer that question right now...

Why am I still holding on? Its been too long... She doesn't even like me. She's probably seeing another guy right now. Not me. She doesn't appreciate me... 

I don't need her...

I like you. 
I like you a lot.
I like spending time with you. I like talking to you. I like the conversations we have, the feelings you give me. That look you give me when I say something stupid and sometimes I say stupid things just so you can give me that look.
I like looking at your eyes, I like the sound of your voice, the way you smile. 
I like how I’ve never heard anyone say my name as wonderful as you do.

Now, if only I could say this to her in person......

:(

What is on your mind?

Girl: Ju...

Me: What is it?

Girl: Hi...

Girl: Ok, bye!

Girl: Gdnight...

I wonder what that was all about... What did you want to say to me?

Dear Girls...

*Don't assume that guys won't care where you are, because we do. 

It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren't off flirting with guys we've never heard of. 

*Also, don't talk about your ex-boyfriends. 

We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them. 

When you do, you're asking your boyfriend to be jealous. 

You're asking your boyfriend to lose trust. 

*On that, don't hump everything that walks into the room. 

We don't care if you talk to other guys. 

We don't care if you're friends with other guys. 

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. 

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. 

*Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. 

Don't tell us we're wrong. 

We'll stop trying to convince you. 

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence. 

Yeah, you can quote me. 

*Don't be mad when we hold the door open. 

Smile and say "thank you." 

Let us pay for you. 

Don't "feel bad." 

We enjoy doing it. 

It's expected. 

Smile and say - everybody together now - "thank you." 

*Kiss us when no one's watching. 

If you kiss us when you know nobody's looking we'll be more impressed. 

*You don't have to get dressed up for us. 

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own. 

We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are. 

*Don't flirt with guys when we're not around. 

We'll find out. Trust us. 

We have eyes everywhere. 

And when we find out, we're pissed. 

Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you. 

*Don't take everything we say seriously. 

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. 

Don't get angry easily.  

*Whatever happened to the word "handsome"? 

Why does everything have to be "hot/sexy"? 

I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. 

Claiming girls or guys to be "hot" shows immaturity. 

**Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. 

Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect. 

Someone who will honor your morals. 

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.