Episode 78: Missing Somebody.

I wrote this while working alone on a cold,Wednesday night. In between serving my customers and sipping on my hot cappuchino and eating my black pepper chicken fried rice. Damn it was cold!

I'd never thought I'd say this, but I will.

I miss her.

Yes I do. I don't know why, but I just do. I guess its true what they say; you won't miss someone until they're gone. I'm so used to seeing her around but I guess not anymore. The place is a bit quiet without her. Too quiet. I guess I could give her a call, but my pride won't let me.

Damn pride!

I hope she's doing very well.

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The past few days I couldn't stop thinking of my friend. Try as I might, but she keeps popping into my head! Why is this happening? Its so weird! Me and her, are just friends and while we do get along, we also get on each other nerves as well. Anyway, I don't think of her like that! It would be so awkward, I just couldn't imagine it!

This is so confusing...

And before I forget, a big thank you to those who replied to my "random" text message that night. You guys made my work more bearable.

Episode 77: Boring!

What a boring week this week turned out to be!

Sigh...

Nothing happened...

Just wanted to point out a few things...

Everyone was busy doing something "important" and I kinda felt left out in a way. And when they do show up from out of nowhere, they don't say anything. It so awkward I tell you! Why are they doing this? They can't expect me start a conversation with them every time right?

Kala has been bugging me to show a little bit of "attitude" at work. I don't know if this is a good idea really. It does sound interesting but I'm afraid some people might not like that side of me. Heck, some people already don't like me the way I am now!

Someone once said to me that certain people are slacking off at work because they'll know that I will do their work for them sooner or later. That they're just taking advantage of me. Don't you think I already know that? Let them them say or do whatever they want. I can't be bothered by them. I'm just waiting for an opportunity to expose them for what they really are...

Today, I was labelled as "someone who lacks initiative". I find that amusing actually... I think that you are just too proud and stubborn to ask for my help. This coming from someone who--- Oops! I had better not say anything...

I have feelings. And yes, sometimes I do get hurt from time to time. I don't know whats so strange about that. Don't mistake me for some other guys that you know who are shallow. I'm not like that. Not me. It just shows how much you know about me.

Hopefully this week will be exciting. I can't go through another week of boredom. If nothing happens, then maybe I'll just make some thing happen!

Episode 76: Valentine's Day Edition

"Kesian eh kita... Valentine's Day pun kena keje..."

This is what one "kakak" said to me while I was working today. Haiz, since when did it become a public holiday? Anyways, I don't celebrate it. Did you know today is Singles Awareness Day? Its short form is SAD. Sad right? I know... I think this one is more for me.

I just finished watching the Titanic movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio & Kate Winslett. Sedih habis... I've watched it before and I still cannot take it all in. Tragic love story kan... The story is already bad enough, but then they start playing that creepy theme song from the movie sung by Celine Dion! Alamak... Tak boleh angkat...

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The manager has been watching the CCTV recently. He keeps watching the footage of this certain day. I wonder why? Did something happen? I hope its nothing serious. I've never liked watching myself or others on the CCTV. It just doesn't feel right you know?

Random Thoughts

Behind your smile is a hurting heart,

Behind your laugh you're falling apart.

Looking closely at you I see,

The person that you are...

Isn't you.

Episode 75: "Busy" Sunday.

My off day got burned. Again. Its not fair okay! Manager begged me to come back to work because today was very "busy". Yeah right... Today was one of those days where I didn't feel like talking to anyone. So every time somebody said something to me, I would either completely ignore them or just give them a one word reply. I was still feeling down because of having to come to work again. Nothing against the guys, I was just not in the mood thats all.

I found myself alone in the container cleaning up the mess that my manager made. Seriously, he tries to help out but he's only making it worse! I was hoping for someone to come and help me out but as usual nobody came. Then I realized that I was working with 4 girls today. They won't help me. They're probably standing around looking pretty or just gossiping. Aarrgghh!!! I'm totally stressed out!

What was Diana wearing just now? What kind of pants are those? And the colour as well... I wanted to ask her but couldn't. I wanted to laugh actually... Somebody please call the fashion police! Alamak...

My old buddy Faris has been discussing with me about the possibility of him coming back to 7-11. he told me he's been unsuccessful so far in getting a new job. Personally, I'd love to have him back but what about the his promise to his late father? Hmmm... This is a tough one guys!

Episode 74: Stopped & Stared...

When am I getting paid? Really? I didn't realised not getting paid would bother me so much! Everyone else has gotten their salary except for me and Hidayah... Whats up with that?! I don't want to come to work until I get paid okay?!

This sucks...

All I've heard from certain people is how or why so and so is gonna quit soon. Okay, so what? If they wanna quit, then let them quit. I really don't care! I've tried to be understanding but after hearing it over and over again, it kind of getting boring already.

Can't you come up with anything better to talk about?

I'm sure everyone was happy with their work schedule when it first came out. Most of the guys were getting 3 days off. Or so they thought! Then all of a sudden they thrown to the other store at Changi Hospital. Honestly, I felt sorry for them. They have to thank the manager for that.

Just what was he thinking?

Zaki dropped by the store to top-up his cash card the other day. While waiting for it to be done, he asked whether Diana was working that day. Not this again! Sometimes I wonder why people ask me when its about her. Is she coming or not? Is she working today? Where is she?

Why me?

Am I supposed to know? Go ask her boyfriends or better yet ask her yourself! Because I don't know... Talking about her, I thought I saw her on my way back from work. Or was it? Nah, it can't be. I must be seeing things...

Before I go, there's a Nike sale going on at the Expo from now until Saturday. Drop on by if you have the chance...

Adios!

Episode 73: Beautiful Days

I must admit, after thinking it through more carefully, I realised that sulking about what happened won't get me anywhere. Why should I? Its happened to me before, and most probably its gonna happen to me again. I've gotta move on with my life...

I'm not gonna let some girl make me lose sight of my goals. I just have to accept the fact that there are these types of people living in this world. I gonna put this situation behind me and concentrate on more important things.

I can be happy with or without her. It won't be easy but it will make me feel a whole lot better... I'm better off with people who actually need my attention. Its a new month, a brand new week and most important of all, a new beginning.

Beautiful days indeed...

Episode 72: Cuba...

Its amazing how someone can act like a jerk without the person realising it. So lets get straight to the point shall we? All I wanted was to say hi and maybe talk for a bit that's all. But she went to say all those things and blew me off. That wasn't necessary. Its not like she was busy or anything right? Whats up with the stuck up attitude huh?

And then when I decide to leave, she says "Sorry" like an angel and tells me that's its all a joke. Yeah right... The real "joke" is the number of times I stood by her even after she treated me like crap! What was I thinking?! But don't worry. Its not her fault, its mine. If I say that its hers, then I'm judging her right?

After knowing her for so long, its kind of surprising that we still don't get along. God knows I tried. I really tried my best but we are just 2 different people. I'm not like her other friends that she likes to hang out with. I'm sorry but that's just not me.

I don't deserve to be treated like this. Its just not fair... From now on, whatever happens, just happens.